1	Concise Sentences How to Develop Them
2	PRUNING THE REDUNDANT Avoid saying the same thing twice. Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to vote for better schools.
3	"A phrase that repeats itself—like..." A phrase that repeats itself—like "true fact," "twelve noon," "I saw it with my own eyes"—is sometimes called a pleonasm. Redundant phrases are bad habits just waiting to take control of your writing. Beware of the following.
4	Redundancy The Lean Version Get the lard out of your writing 12 midnight midnight 12 noon noon 3 am in the morning 3 am Absolutely spectacular/phenomenal spectacular/phenomenala person who is honest an honest person a total of 14 birds 14 birds biography of her life biography circle around circle
5	Redundancy The Lean Version close proximity proximity completely unanimous unanimous consensus of opinion consensus cooperate together cooperate each and every each enclosed herewith enclosed end result result exactly the same the same final completion completion
6	Redundancy The Lean Version frank and honest exchange frank exchange or honest exchange free gift gift he/she is a person who . . . he/she important/basic essentials essentials in spite of the fact that although in the field of economics/law economics/law enforcement enforcement in the event that if job functions job OR functions
7	Redundancy The Lean Version new innovations innovations one and the same the same particular interest interest period of four days four days personally, I think/feel I think/feel personal opinion opinion puzzling in nature puzzling refer back refer repeat again repeat
8	Redundancy The Lean Version return again return return back return revert back revert shorter/longer in length shorter/longer small/large in size small/large square/round/rectangular square/round/rectangular in shape summarize briefly summarize
9	Redundancy The Lean Version surrounded on all sides surrounded surrounding circumstances circumstances the future to come the future there is no doubt but that no doubt usual/habitual custom custom we are in receipt of we have received
10	Abbreviated Redundancies A special breed of redundancy is proliferating in our modern world as we increasingly rely on abbreviations and acronyms in the busyness of our technology. Some people insist it is redundant to say "ATM machine" because ATM means Automated Teller Machine.
11	"They add that it is..." They add that it is redundant to say "HIV virus" because HIV means Human Immunodeficiency Virus, "AIDS syndrome" because AIDS means Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome, "CPU unit" because CPU means Central Processing Unit. It sounds particularly silly when we come up with a plural such as "CPU units" — Central Processing Unit units.
12	"It is perhaps too easy..." It is perhaps too easy to get caught up in this, however. "CD disk" can be redundant, but nowadays the abbreviation CD can refer to a number of things, including the machine itself. Occasionally, an abbreviation — like CD, ATM — becomes more of an idea unto itself than a shortened version for a set of words, and the abbreviation ought to be allowed to act as modifier.
13	Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be pared to simpler, shorter constructions. The "which clause" can often be shortened to a simple adjective. (Be careful, however, not to lose some needed emphasis by over-pruning; the word "which," which is sometimes necessary [as it is in this sentence], is not evil.)
14	"Smith College" Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-women's college in the United States. Founded in 1871, Smith College is the premier all-women's college in the United States.
15	"Citizens who knew what was..." Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office. Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of office.
16	"Recommending that a student copy..." Recommending that a student copy from another student's paper is not something he would recommend. He wouldn't recommend that a student copy from another student's paper. (Or "He would never tell a student to copy . . . .")
17	Phrases, too, can sometimes be trimmed, sometimes to a single word. Unencumbered by a sense of responsibility, Jason left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans. Jason irresponsibly left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans. (Or leave out the word altogether and let the act speak for itself.)
18	Intensifiers that Don't Intensify Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when they are not necessary. It is probably enough to say that the salary increase is inadequate. Does saying that it is severely inadequate introduce anything more than a tone of hysteria? These words shouldn't be banished from your vocabulary, but they will be used to best effect when used sparingly.
19	Avoiding Expletive Constructions This term sounds like something a politician has to learn to avoid, but, no, an expletive construction is a common device that often robs a sentence of energy before it gets a chance to do its work. Expletive constructions begin with there is/are or it is.
20	"There are twenty-five students who..." There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant. Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant.
21	Unnecessary Uses of “To Be” Even a casual review of your writing can reveal uses of the verb “To be” that are unnecessary and that can be removed to good effect. In a way, the “To be” verb doesn't do much for you — it just sits there — and text that is too heavily sprinkled with “To be” verbs can feel sodden, static. This is especially true of “To be” verbs tucked into dependent clauses (particularly dependent clauses using a passive construction) and expletive constructions (“There is,” “There were,” “it is,” etc.). Note that the relative pronoun frequently disappears as well when we revise these sentences.
22	"He wanted a medication that..." He wanted a medication that was prescribed by a physician. She recognized the officer who was chasing the crook. Anyone who is willing to work hard will succeed in this program.
23	"It was Alberto who told..." It was Alberto who told the principal about the students' prank. (Notice that the “it was” brought special emphasis to “Alberto,” an emphasis that is somewhat lost by this change. Sometimes you need this construction, depending on your meaning!) A customer who is pleased is sure to return. A pleased customer is sure to return. (When we eliminate the “To be” and the relative pronoun, we will also have to reposition the predicate adjective to a pre-noun position.)
24	"An expletive construction" An expletive construction, along with its attendant “To be” verb, can often be eliminated to good effect. Simply omit the construction, find the real subject of the sentence, and allow it to do some real work with a real verb.
25	"There were some excellent results..." There were some excellent results to this experiment in social work. (Change to . . . .) This experiment in social work resulted in . . . . There is one explanation for this story's ending in Faulkner's diary. (Change to . . . .) Faulkner's diary gives one explanation for this story's ending.
26	"On the other hand" On the other hand, expletive constructions do give us an interesting means of setting out or organizing the work of a subsequent paragraph: There were four underlying causes of World War I. First, . . . .
27	Stative and Dynamic Forms We might think of the difference between stative and dynamic in terms of “willed” and “nonwilled” qualities. Consider the difference between a so-called dynamic adjective (or subject complement) and a stative adjective (or subject complement):
28	"“" “I am silly” OR “I am being silly” versus “I am tall.” I have chosen to be silly; I have no choice about being tall. Thus “Tall” is said to be a stative (or an “inert”) quality, and we cannot say “I am being tall”; “silly,” on the other hand, is dynamic so we can use progressive verb forms in conjunction with that quality.
29	"Two plus two equals four" Two plus two equals four. Equals is inert, stative, and cannot take the progressive; there is no choice, no volition in the matter. (We would not say, “Two plus two is equaling four.”) In the same way, nouns and pronouns can be said to exhibit willed and unwilled characteristics. Thus, “She is being a good worker” (because she chooses to be so), but we would say “She is (not is being) an Olympic athlete” (because once she becomes an athlete she no longer “wills it”).
30	Phrases You Can Omit Be on the lookout for important sounding phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a sentence. Such phrases quickly put a reader on guard that the writer is trading in puffery; worse, they put a reader to sleep. Many but not all of these unnecessary phrases have been taken from Quick Access: Reference for Writers by Lynn Quitman Troyka. Simon & Schuster: New York. 1995. The examples, however, are our own. No political inferences should be drawn from these examples; they are merely models of form.
31	all things considered All things considered, Connecticut's woodlands are in better shape now than ever before. All things considered, Connecticut's woodlands are in better shape now than ever before.
32	as a matter of fact As a matter of fact, there are more woodlands in Connecticut now than there were in 1898. As a matter of fact, There are more woodlands in Connecticut now than there were in 1898.
33	as far as I'm concerned As far as I'm concerned, there is no need for further protection of woodlands. As far as I'm concerned, There is no need for further protection of woodlands.
34	at the present time This is because there are fewer farmers at the present time. This is because there are fewer farmers now.
35	because of the fact that Woodlands have grown in area because of the fact that farmers have abandoned their fields. Woodlands have grown in area because farmers have abandoned their fields.
36	by means of Major forest areas are coming back by means of natural processes. Major forest areas are coming back through natural processes. (or naturally)
37	by virtue of the fact that Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the fact that our economy has shifted its emphasis. Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the fact that because our economy has shifted its emphasis.
38	due to the fact that Due to the fact that their habitats are being restored, forest creatures are also re-establishing their population bases. Due to the fact that Because their habitats are being restored, forest creatures are also re-establishing their population bases.
39	Exists The fear that exists among many people that we are losing our woodlands is uncalled for. The fear that exists among many people that we are losing our woodlands is uncalled for.
40	for all intents and purposes [Note the spelling!] The era in which we must aggressively defend our woodlands has, for all intents and purposes, passed. The era in which we must aggressively defend our woodlands has, for all intents and purposes, passed.
41	for the most part For the most part, people's suspicions are based on a misunderstanding of the facts. For the most part, People's suspicions are based on a misunderstanding of the facts.
42	for the purpose of Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating public parks. Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating as public parks.
43	have a tendency to This policy has a tendency to isolate some communities. This policy has a tendency tends to isolate some communities.
44	in a manner of speaking The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun to Balkanize the more rural parts of our state. The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun to Balkanize the more rural parts of our state.
45	in a very real sense In a very real sense, this policy works to the detriment of those it is supposed to help. In a very real sense, this This policy works to the detriment of those it is supposed to help.
46	in my opinion In my opinion, this wasteful policy ought to be revoked. In my opinion, this This wasteful policy ought to be revoked.
47	in the case of In the case of this particular policy, citizens of northeast Connecticut became very upset. Citizens of northeast Connecticut became very upset about his policy.
48	in the final analysis In the final analysis, the state would have been better off without such a policy. In the final analysis, the The state would have been better off without such a policy.
49	in the event that In the event that enough people protest, it will probably be revoked. If enough people protest, it will probably be revoked.
50	in the nature of Something in the nature of a repeal may soon take place. Something in the nature of like a repeal may soon take place.
51	in the process of Legislators are already in the process of reviewing the statutes. Legislators are already in the process of reviewing the statutes.
52	it seems that It seems that they can't wait to get rid of this one. It seems that they They can't wait to get rid of this one.
53	Manner They have monitored the activities of conservationists in a cautious manner. They have cautiously monitored the activities of conservationists.
54	the point I am trying to make The point I am trying to make is that sometimes public policy doesn't accomplish what it set out to achieve. The point I am trying to make is that some Sometimes public policy doesn't accomplish what it set out to achieve.
55	type of Legislators need to be more careful of the type of policy they propose. Legislators need to be more careful of the type of policy they propose.
56	what I mean to say is What I mean to say is that well intentioned lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves. What I mean to say is that well Well intentioned lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves.
57	"BANNED FOR LIFE," In his eminently readable Web site, "BANNED FOR LIFE," Tom Mangan has collected the "favorite" clichés of editors and journalism instructors from around the world. If you read too much of this at once, you'll stop talking.
58	Eliminating Clichés and Euphemisms A cliché is an expression that was probably, once upon a time, an original and brilliant way of saying something. Imagine being the first person to say something as clever as "She fell head over heels in love" or "She's cool as a cucumber.“ Sadly, though, such expressions eventually lose their luster and become trite and even annoying. Writers who indulge in tired language are not being respectful to their readers, and readers return the compliment by losing attention and going on to something else.
59	"It is particularly galling when..." It is particularly galling when a writer or speaker relies on tired language to the point of creating a hodge-podge of mixed clichés and assorted vegetables. A mayor of Austin, Texas, once announced, to everyone's bewilderment, "I wanted all my ducks in a row, so if we did get into a posture, we could pretty much slam-dunk this thing and put it to bed."
60	"Another irritation is when a..." Another irritation is when a speaker or writer not only uses a clichè, but messes it up. “He could care less!” [That says he COULD care less than he does care or he cares a great deal!”] The correct phrasing is “He could not care less.” Either is trite and overused, but at least be accurately trite.
61	"Here is a list of..." Here is a list of trite expressions to look for in your writing and speaking. Create your own list of clichés by listening for them on radio talk-shows and casual conversation. Watch television ads and the headlines of sports columnists to find clichés that writers are playing with, adapting the meaning of a hackneyed expression until it turns into something clever (or, sometimes, not so clever).
62	Avoid these clichés acid test at loose ends babe in the woods better late than never brought back to reality black as pitch blind as a bat bolt from the blue busy as a bee/beaver cat's meow
63	"cool" cool, calm, and collected crack of dawn crushing blow cry over spilt milk dead as a doornail dog-eat-dog world don't count your chickens dyed in the wool easier said than done easy as pie
64	"feathered friends face the music..." feathered friends face the music flash in the pan flat as a pancake gentle as a lamb go at it tooth and nail good time was had by all greased lightning happy as a lark head over heels
65	"heavy as lead horns of..." heavy as lead horns of a dilemma hour of need keep a stiff upper lip ladder of success last but not least looking a gift horse in the mouth meaningful dialogue moving experience needle in a haystack
66	"open-and-shut case pain in the..." open-and-shut case pain in the _____ point with pride pretty as a picture put it in a nutshell quick as a flash/wink rat race ripe old age ruled the roost sad but true sadder but wiser
67	"set the world on fire..." set the world on fire sick as a dog sigh of relief slow as molasses smart as a whip sneaking suspicion spread like wildfire straight as an arrow straw that broke the camel's back strong as an ox take the bull by the horns
68	"thin as a rail through..." thin as a rail through thick and thin tired but happy to coin a phrase to make a long story short trial and error tried and true under the weather white as a sheet wise as an owl work like a dog worth its weight in gold
69	"A euphemism is a word..." A euphemism is a word or phrase that substitutes for language the speaker or writer feels is too blunt or somehow offensive. When people die, we say, instead, that they have "passed away" or "met their maker" or "gone to sleep." And, at the silly extreme, a garbage collector is a sanitation engineer, a janitor is a custodial engineer. What the writer must guard against is the tendency of euphemisms not only to shield readers from harsh reality but also to obfuscate meaning and truth.
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71	"http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm" http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm Understanding English Grammar by Martha Kolln. 4rth Edition. MacMillan Publishing Company: New York. 1994. *The section on uses of “To be” in passive constructions is based on information in Grammar Dimensions: Form, Meaning, and Use, #3 2nd Ed. by Jan Frodesen and Janet Eyring. Heinle & Heinle: Boston. 1997. Examples are our own. N. Foster D. H. Conley High School